She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
