If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
a search helicopter?!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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