And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
