Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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