you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
