Whod you bang
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
