All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
