Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
