So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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