I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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