You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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