it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
