I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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