Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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