omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
