you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize