just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
