She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
