i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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