youre lurking in front of me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
