I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
