5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
