yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
