...so i touched it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
dude. I can hear the air.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
