Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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