Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
