he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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