the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize