yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
