what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
