Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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