It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
