I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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