Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
