Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
