Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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