his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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