he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
