Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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