I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
