But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
