Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
