I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
