mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize