i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
this beer tastes like vomit already
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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