The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
