The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
