If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm like, not good at living.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
