Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize