Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
