I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
