tell your sister to shave her snatch
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
