If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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