Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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