I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
