connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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