I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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