do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
