i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
