i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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