Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
