What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I could fuck to npr.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize