that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it hurts more in the daytime
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
