When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
